


That lonely path

by mrsgreenworld



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Loss, Pain, post 5x23, set between season 5 and 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-04 22:37:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsgreenworld/pseuds/mrsgreenworld
Summary: If we don't pick up in Season 6 right where we left, this is my take on what Oliver and William go through in the next few months.





	1. Felicity

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I am back with angst and pain. So much for trying to be positive.  
> But the finale was like a kick to the gut.  
> It's not that I am worried. I know everyone who matters is alive and well. But Oliver doesn't know that. And it's.... painful as hell.  
> I really hope that Season 6 picks up right after 5x23. I don't see how Oliver can go on for months without his entire family and team. But I wanted to explore this possibility.  
> I plan to turn this into multichapter fic, so I really hope my usual writer's block won't catch up with me.  
> If anyone out there reads this – enjoy. And forgive any of my mistakes.  
> I do not own any of Arrow characters. I just love them dearly.

 

… “ _It's going to be lonely. Without mom … and Felicity”_

 

“ _Felicity!!!”_

 His scream echoes in the dark of his empty, cold and lonely bedroom. _**Their**_ bedroom. The one they used to share in this once _**their**_ loft.

Now it's just him. And his shadows. And his demons. And his son who's in the guest bedroom downstairs. And his son's shadows and nightmares, instead of his own, that from time to time pull him from his restless sleep.

He scrubs a rough hand down his face. He doesn't have to fall asleep for his nightmares to find him. He's living one now.

He doesn't need to close his eyes to see the smoke and fire that took his family and his team away from him. Took _**her**_ away from him.

It's definitely some kind of sick irony that _**she**_ was his last dying thought, the last face he saw before the fall two and a half years ago and now, two and a half years later his enemy died with _**her**_ name on his lips.

The first two weeks were pure hell, the kind of hell he'd never been through before. Everything happened in some kind of fog. In slow motion, on autopilot. The only thing that kept him functioning was his son. Who also turned into a living ghost.

He doesn't even remember how he got rid of Chase's body, how he managed to get them to the mainland and then back to Star City. The Mayor of Star City was officially missing and it stayed that way even after he and William arrived at the city. Well, he knew how to stay hidden.

When two weeks passed, he broke down and called _**her**_ mother.

Donna stayed with him and William for 2 more weeks. Even with devastation visible in each of her steps, moves, smiles, glances, she still managed to shake him out of his trance, managed to settle for him and William strict everyday routine. She got them to eat and shower and talk. She made him remember his responsibilities as a Mayor, pushing him to return to the world of living, despite the fact that he was no longer one of them.

Upon his return he gave a big press-conference, telling the public at least half-truth about Adrian Chase, explaining his own disappearance as a kidnapping.

When it was safe enough to scale the island and try to recover the bodies, Lyla and ARGUS team flew to what was left from Lian Yu. Only to find that there were no bodies to recover.

So, now, more than two months after that hellish day, he has something to hold on to. Hope. At least that's something he was able to give his son.

If they are alive, where are they? How did they manage to get out of there? And why are they not coming home?

It was impossible to survive that hell. So the missing bodies can simply mean that there were no bodies to remain.

He shudders at the thought.

Chase was right. It's lonely. It's absolutely suffocating, heart-wrenching and agonizing.... _To be without_ _ **her.**_

But he and William have each other. And that helps both of them... to exist.

But when it gets absolutely unbearable, like right now, after waking up with _**her**_ name on his lips and ashy snowflakes dancing in front of his eyes, then he grabs his phone from the nightstand, where it lies near a framed picture of them, him and _**her**_ , happy and _**together**_ , and dials a number that he knows by heart.

He hears the shuffle of sheets first and then – a tired voice with a hint of panic:

 “ _Oliver? Has something happened? What is it? Where is William? Is he okay?”_

 He wants to weep at the sheer _**similarity**_. Because all of it is such a _**her**_ thing to ask and worry about.

 “ _No, it's okay, Donna. Everything is okay. William is fine and asleep right now. No nightmares. Not today”_

 He hears Donna release a breath she's been holding. She says in a relieved voice:

 “ _Okay, good. That's good. William is fine. That I believe. Everything is okay – that's another story. You wouldn't have called if everything was okay. What is it? What's wrong?”_

 “ _You know what's wrong”_ he whispers brokenly.

 “ _Oh, Oliver... Sweetheart...”_ and unbreakable, indestructible Donna Smoak sounds just as broken as he is.

 “ _Can we... can we talk about_ _ **her**_ _?”_ he asks in a small voice of a lost boy.

 “ _Of course we can, sweetheart”_

 And they talk. They talk into early hours of morning. They talk for hours. About **_her_**. They don't talk about the way _**she was**_ but the way _**she is**_. Because for them _**she**_ is _**alive**_. They need _**her**_ to be _**alive**_.

 


	2. Aunt Thea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was excited and enthusiastic about this story. And so ready to write. But then again something happened. Another writer's block. So, I am so very sorry if someone has been waiting for more this whole time. I doubt that I will manage to finish this before Season 6 starts. But I really want to finish this fic. And I will do my best to do this.
> 
> Forgive any mistakes and misspells. I am not a native speaker of English.
> 
> I do not own Arrow or any of its characters.

 

… “ _Hey, Speedy! Slow down a little!”_

 

“ _It's not my fault you cannot keep up with me, Ollie!”_

 

“ _Who's Speedy?”_

 

Oliver jerks as if he's been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water. He doesn't remember falling asleep, so, perhaps, he's been just day-dreaming. He hears a soft hum of TV that's still on, smells buttery popcorn and, when he turns his head to his right, sees his son, who's sitting beside him on the couch, looking at him with curious eyes.

 

“ _Sorry, buddy. I must have zoned out a bit. What did you say?”_

 

“ _You mumbled something. And then called for Speedy. Who's Speedy?”_

 

“ _It's my sister's childhood nickname”_

 

“ _You mean, Aunt Thea's?”_

 

William says it so casually but Oliver feels his breath hitch and his heart clench painfully in his chest. William has yet to call him _**“dad”**_. He's not quite there at this point. But the fact, that he so easily and naturally accepts Thea as family and calls her that, almost brings tears to Oliver's eyes.

 

“ _Yes, Aunt Thea's”_ he croaks out.

 

“ _Why did you call her that?”_

 

“ _Well, she was a very active child, always running around. She was small and tiny but I could never keep up with her”._

 

Oliver is silent for a moment.

 

“ _You know, it's actually her superhero code name now”_ he says with a little smile.

 

William's eyes get comically huge.

 

“ _Wait! Aunt Thea is a superhero too??!! She's one of Star City's heroes?!”_

 

Oliver chuckles at his son's excitement and nods.

 

“ _Is she the one in red? I always thought she was Red Arrow or something like that”_

 

“” _Yes, she's the one in red. Her official code name is Speedy. Although she wanted to be Red Arrow at the beginning”._

 

“ _Wow”_ is all William can say, his eyes foggy, a dopey smile on his face.

 

“ _So, being superheroes is our family tradition or something?”_

 

Oliver frowns at that.

 

“ _No, I wouldn't say that. Thea and I... we didn't really choose this life, William”._

 

Now it's William's turn to frown.

 

“ _I don't get it. You didn't want to become heroes, to help people?”_

 

“ _Of course we did. I mean the helping people part. But... There are different ways to do this. When you do what we do, when you don't just help but protect people, it is not always your choice. And even when it is, it's not an easy one”._

 

After a moment Oliver gathers his thoughts and continues:

 

“ _What we do is dangerous, William. And there are always consequences. You know about them all too well. I never wanted you to know, never wanted you to be pulled into this life. For me and Aunt Thea it's something we can no longer fight or avoid. It's **who we are**. Our lives, things we've been through made us into this kind of people. But you are different. You can and should be different”._

 

“ _But I want to be a hero too”._

 

“ _And you will be. One day. Just not like this. There are a lot of ways to become a hero and give people hope”._

 

“ _Like what?”_

 

“ _Like... like fighting for someone's life in a surgery. Or finding a cure for cancer. Or inventing a technology that can help people walk. Or defending an innocent in a court room”._

 

William is silent for a few moments. Oliver can almost see the wheels turning in the kid's head as he's processing everything that's been said.

 

“ _But...”_ William starts.

 

“ _But fighting against criminals seems more fun?”_ Oliver finishes for him.

 

“ _Well, yeah”_ the kid admits sheepishly.

 

“ _Being a hero is not about fun, William. It's a huge responsibility. Responsibility for people's lives. Not to mention the fact that actual fighting is quite painful and traumatizing. Trust me, I know it first-hand”._

 

“” _I do”_ William says with conviction which only prompts a confused look from Oliver.

 

“ _I trust you”_ the kid clarifies.

 

At this admission something swells in Oliver's chest, deep down, where only searing pain resides these days. But right now, at this very moment, William managed to take some of it away.

 

“ _Do you have any family photos in here?”_ William asks with genuine curiosity.

 

“ _Err... I... I think there is something. Let me check”_

 

Most of family albums are at Thea's, those that Oliver kept are still in storage.

 

He's rummaging through his memory on his way to the bedroom when he has a light bulb moment. He enters the bedroom and goes straight to the walk-in closet where in one of old shoes boxes he finds a small photo album. This one is among Oliver's most treasured things. While pregnant with Thea and after her birth, Moira Queen made dozens of photos which she then compiled into a narrative of Thea's first months in this world.

 

So, this is how Oliver and William spend the rest of the evening: looking at old pictures of the family. Family lost and found. Family that bound together a father and a son. And while they look together at the photos, William eagerly asks questions about his Aunt. And Oliver answers all of them, telling his son not about the way _**his Aunt was**_ but the way _**she is**_.

 


End file.
